A BBC Sport Scotland survey has revealed the clubs in favour of adopting strict liability to deal with fan misbehaviour. Rangers, Celtic, Aberdeen, Hibs and Hearts have all came out and…ah, who are we trying to kid?
In a poll of Scotland’s 42 senior clubs, only Championship sides Partick Thistle and Queen of the South, and Annan Athletic in League Two are up for it. Yes, those hotbeds of football violence, the grounds where opposing fans fear to go, the stands that recreate the glory days of hooliganism every week. Thistle, Queens and Annan.
When the most dangerous thing thrown on the pitch is a discarded cappuccino that’s been discovered to be not ethically-sourced, it’s easy to say you’ll take all the responsibility for the fans’ behaviour. Similarly, if your average attendance is 407, you could probably police them yourself with a couple of mates a random dog.
Yes, it’s great those clubs are putting themselves forward, but it’s a bit like Kirk Broadfoot offering to cook you some eggs. It’s a lovely thought and appreciated, but it’d be much better if anyone else did it.
Obviously there’s not much chance that the Glasgow, Edinburgh and well, the Aberdeen teams are going to put their hat into this particular ring. Not a chance. Imagine voluntarily being responsible for the absolute rocket convention that happens when any of them meet. All it takes is for one weapon to break the Cordon Of Bored Hi-Viz Jackets and the club are hit with a fine, a ban and a big boot up the stanes. Next thing you know you’re playing in front of an empty stand because an element of your support are mental.
Who in their right mind would vote for a deal that would see you voluntarily chuck yourself off the edge of a cliff?
*insert obvious Brexit joke here*
Meanwhile, football’s ultimate double/triple/quadruple agent Bobby Madden has been handed the whistler’s job for Celtic v Rangers on Sunday.
Madden, through a series of unfortunate events, has become the human embodiment of the Scottish Fitba media, by convincing every single fan of both teams that he is biased against them. Every one.
Even the ‘Brother’ tag is confusing now. Is it meant to say he’s a card-carrying Lodge member? Or a secret Benedictine monk on the fly? Is he a Rangers man or does he hate the Rangers? Is his dislike of Celtic as obvious as his clear love of the Hoops?
Who knows anymore? Even Bobby doesn’t and will likely be sitting the night before the game, drying his tears with with his 50/50 scarf, completely torn over who to give that dodgy decision to.
ON FOOTBALL SCOTLAND
Celtic’s Callum McGregor is only choice for Player of the Year
‘I swear a lot’ – David Roberston reflects on THAT Real Kashmir documentary
Celtic’s Neil Lennon on Rangers’ new signing – ‘it doesn’t please me’
ON THE SOCIAL
Clive Tyldesley ‘s choice of words leaves something to be desired, M’lud.
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